How to be selfish and put yourself first.
To be selfish and put your priorities ahead of others is not necessarily a bad thing. It means you’re no longer willing to sacrifice your wellbeing to please others. This is not only beneficial to our mental health, but could also lead to a happier life overall! In terms of being selfish, I prefer to call it self-full as there are many negative connotations that go hand in hand with the word. For the context of this blog, I will refer to it as being selfish as way to counteract the stigma it gets.
From experience, I know that when you’re drowning in responsibilities, you struggle to find any time to think, let alone be selfish. My book, ‘No Longer Last On The List’ is a self-growth guide for busy, tired women just like myself who are fed up with always coming last. It contains some great exercises as well as some tips and advice, some of which I’m going to give you here. Being switched on, rushing around 24/7 can be exhausting. Be selfish, take some time to read and reflect.
Stop saying ‘yes’ when what you want is to say ‘no’.
If you want to stay at home, stop going out. If you want to go out, stop staying at home. Stop feeling like you have to do or be more to matter. Learn how to say no to everything and everyone that wants to take up all your time. You need to learn to be selfish and work on yourself as well as your goals.
Prioritising is key and you need it to focus on yourself. You don’t need to have it all, do it all or be everything to everyone. Start claiming time to be selfish, eat healthier, spend time with people who care about your wellbeing. Put a plan in action to change or nurture the things that affect your happiness, be it creating more positives or eliminating more negatives. It’s not always easy and sometimes it requires compromise, but it can be your reality. Learning to say no is a vital step towards setting boundaries, placing more value on yourself and practising to be selfish.
As Heraclitus once said, ‘change is the only constant in life.’ Change can more often than not involve risk and loss which is why many people find it terrifying. It’s hard to accept the fact that every significant situation in our lives can change us. Going from coming last on your list to trying to be selfish is a huge jump. A jump that will definitely not happen overnight. It takes time and resilience to put yourself first. If you know what you want then there’s no excuse but to work hard at achieving it.
Limiting beliefs stop us from moving forward in life, even when we want or need to.
In my book, I talk about limiting beliefs. A limiting belief is something you believe to be true that holds you back or restricts you in some way. If you hold on to them for too long, they will not let you put yourself first or be selfish. You can have limiting beliefs about everything. From yourself or other people to the world around you. Challenging these limiting beliefs can be hard. They can show up in everyday situations and can disguise themselves as being helpful or protecting you in some way. But what they really do is just hold you back by affecting your behaviour and sabotaging your opportunity to be the best you can be. Not a single one of your limiting beliefs is useful to you. Especially if you’re wanting personal growth and are willing to make changes.
Discover who you are, what makes you happy and what you really want.
Know your worth and discover self-love. These are the most important things to remember in order to be selfish and put yourself first. No one judges you more than yourself. You are capable of accomplishing anything you put your mind to. You are as entitled to take up space in this world as anyone else. It may take time, but being able to be selfish and put yourself first will come to you easily.
If you know that you should be selfish and start prioritising yourself, you can purchase my book ‘No Longer Last On The List’. It is available as a paperback or Kindle version on Amazon and is packed full of tips, activities and inspiration on self-love and putting your own needs first.
Read and love it already? Why not buy a few copies for the important women in your lives so they can join the self-love revolution for themselves!
Still unsure? Take a look at our lovely Amazon reviews!
☆☆☆☆☆ Inspirational, Aspiring well worth the read! – ‘A book that gets you hooked, I’ve just had a little read and can’t wait until I can get back to my next fix! What a wake up call. To realise how you actually feel inside and haven’t said anything out loud to read you are not alone. Jo definitely gets you thinking about your self worth, aspirations and dreams.‘ – Simone JM
☆☆☆☆☆ A personal coach to take with you wherever you go! – ‘A simple, yet effective reminder that there should always be time for you and if you haven’t got it then you need to make it. Then there’s the book itself; the real treat. Throughout each chapter, you feel Jo is by your side. She doesn’t tell you what you should be doing, but encourages and empowers you to make the choices that are right for you and for your situation whether you are a business owner, parent or working in a pressurised environment.’ – Laurey